Katie loves Madden

Madden's schedule has worked itself out where he's awake when I get to work and he eats almost immediately after his mom leaves. Well that's also when Katie goes pee pee and puts on her big girl panties. So this morning all of these things happen at the very same time. I go ahead and make Madden's bottle, set it on the kitchen table, and take Katie potty. Well of course once Katie is done going potty she runs away before I can even blink. I return to the kitchen to pour myself a drink and notice that suddenly Madden isn't crying. Hmmm that's odd, I'm pretty sure he was starving two minutes ago. Well I come out of the kitchen and Katie has gotten his bottle off the table and is standing next to his bouncer, feeding him. What a crazy toddler she is!!! It was so darned cute I went ahead and let her feed him as much of it as she could. (She doesn't understand that you have to hold it at an angle, so when it gets low I take over...)

Katie, 20 months feeding Madden, 3 months

Oh and I just wanted to note that I'm making a prediction, Madden is definitely going to roll over in the next couple weeks. He is starting to throw his leg and spin around in a circle.

Being 22

So I was laying in bed last night trying to fall asleep and I had about a million and one thoughts running through my head. I'm still kicking myself for not writing them all down, but I'll do my best to remember them and hopefully I will make sense in my ramblings.

I've come to the realization that everyone grows up at different rates. Each individual person has been raised differently, has had different life experiences, and have dealth with those experiences in their own ways. This is what leads to such a range of maturity levels in any age group. I spent a lot of last night considering all of the things I have been through and the things I've seen my friends go through, there's a whole lot of hurt in this world! However, there is also happiness and love and friendship.

Let me get back to the point of this post... I am 22, it has been four years since I graduated high school and I've probably got another four years left of college. For now, I am midway between two major milestones. When I look back at the person I was in high school, and I consider the person I am now, I am shocked at the change. I have grown in ways I never expected. I have learned parenting skills without having a baby at 16. I have become a little more fashion forward than that dorky girl hiding in the yearbook room. I have lost some friends and I have gained some friends, unfortunately there's been more losing than gaining but that's ok. I have found the confidence and self assurance that I never possessed as a teenager. I look back at the awkward girl who was so worried about having the perfect high school experience and I'm so glad I didn't. I obtained the ability to see through the fake friends and the intelligence to hold on to the real ones.

So here I am, a nanny for the past four years, raising other people's children. I used to feel like I was watching every one else's lives fly by while mine remained in park. I was that stupid girl once, the one who let a boy mistreat me, who let a boy make me believe I wasn't good enough, that I had something to prove. Well that boy left me, as they all do, and I gained something from him that he'll probably never realize, I gained the ability to stand on my own two feet. At 22 years old I know that I will never rely on a man to make me happy. Sure I will be married one day and I hope to live a fulfilled life with whomever that man turns out to be, but I will never rely on only him to enrich my life because ultimately it is exactly that, MINE. I don't need someone constantly telling me how pretty I am or reassuring me that I'm not fat. When I get dressed I ask how my outfit looks, but I am happy with what I've chosen no matter what reaction it brings. I am leading my life the way I want to, I living for me and I am merely taking every one along with me.

I have developed a deep love for art in my life. As a kid I loved to draw, just basic colored pencils and a sketch pad. As an adult I have found that photography really captures the world in a way that those Crayolas never could. I have realized that a good book doesn't always consist of a princess being rescued by her knight and shining armor, there aren't always happy endings and that is ok. I have learned that cutting and pasting is still endless fun, but now I prefer to cut and paste things that really mean something. I can still see the innocent joy that cartoons bring to little girls and boys, but I have found that I prefer to watch shows and movies that touch me. I want to engross myself in things that make me laugh hysterically, cry like a baby, get angry as a bull, and inspire me to change the world. Cinderella just can't hold a candle to the real women who are making a difference every single day.

Being 22 in my world is being on the fence between childhood and the rest of my life. I am in no way perfect, I am still immature and naive in a number of ways. However, I can look ahead and know that those things will change one day too. I won't always get grumpy if I don't have at least one soda a day, well maybe I will! The point is that for me, 22 has changed me. 22 has made me realize that I am dying to be a mother. I want nothing more than to be in a happy, stable marriage where I am loved and accepted for everything that I am. I no longer have my heart set on being a teacher, I have opened my mind in the last six months to an array of careers that would all make me happy in one way or another. Maybe I'll grow up and become a copy editor for a major book publishing company, maybe I will enter the wild and crazy rhelm of talk radio, maybe I'll be a stay at home mom and try my hand at writing novels, or maybe, just maybe, I'll still end up a high school English teacher. Being 22 has given me the freedom to realize that it is my choice. Every single thing that happens in my life from here on out is my choice. I can't wait for every day of the rest of my life, because at 22, the possibilites are ENDLESS...

Potty Time!

Today was Katie's first time coming to work and wearing her big girl panties instead of a diaper. So far so good! She had one very small accident this morning, and really it was my fault because I was changing Madden's diaper when she decided she finally needed to go. Of course I had put her on the potty right before I changed him but toddlers never need to pee when you want them to. The biggest downside was that she peed in my brand new Coach purse... Couldn't she have aimed for something a little less expensive?!? Oh the joys of being a stand in parent.

Its been awhile...

I haven't posted on here in awhile, there's only so much to say about the daily care of a two month old. Although he's three months tomorrow and changing so fast! He is loving playing with his activity center, he's realized that when he hits the chains and toys, they move. But anyway, the purpose for my post tonight is to get down some creative ideas I've been working on.

My mom and baby sister Katie are thinking about moving to Virginia next year, and my little sister Amber currently lives in North Carolina. This presents the ever difficult issue of how to keep in touch. Sure there's Skype and Facebook and texting, but sometimes I miss the every day, old fashioned letter. Its always so exciting to get a card in the mail or to get a post card from a friend. So I was laying in bed reading a book I bought my mom for Valentine's Day that she insisted I read. It got me thinking about how often we exchange books and I came up with a great idea to keep in touch with long distance family! Start a book club. I figure I'll buy a book, read it, write a letter to my mom and send it to her with the book. Then she'll read it, and when she finishes she'll write a letter to my sister and send it on to her. When Amber is done she can either return the book to me or a buy a new one and include a letter when she sends it. This way we're all enjoying something we have in common and keeping our relationship close. I'll let everyone know how it goes when they move. I am so excited to put this plan into action!

Speaking of moving, my boyfriend Nick and I will be moving into our own apartment in July, which is only four months away!!! This will be my first time living on my own with my spouse. We can't wait to have our own place and to have some time alone. I am most excited about decorating. I spend hours on Stumbleupon.com and www.Pinterest.com planning how I'm going to decorate our livingroom, bathroom, kitchen.. We really have the bedroom decorated already so that's one less thing to daydream about. I can't wait! <3